The Bachelor Season 18: Meet the Bachelorettes

Alright party people! It is time for my annual pre-judging of the Bachelor contestants. Last year I wasn't so on the mark for the good guys. But luckily this year there was a pre-show show telling us about the road to Juan Pablo! And the road to Juan Pablo included the audition tapes and lots of pre-screening of the woman. So here we go with the Bachelorettes and my input on each one. Let's roll!

ALEXIS: She seems like your normal good girl. Normal because she loves Elf and Titanic and hates when a date talks all about himself. Good girl because she names her favorite book as the Bible. Which either proves she is a good girl or that she is preparing to cover up her not-so-good girl ways. Either way, I think she will be sticking around for a bit!

ALLI: I will be honest. Her intro on Road to JP was odd. She sat in the park asking elderly couples if they thought she would win and if they had any advice for her. And for that alone I think she will be weird and get the boot in the first few episodes.

AMY J: Versatile or changes who she is depending on who she is with? She likes both low key bars and hot night clubs. Her favorite holiday is either Thanksgiving or 4th of July. Her favorite bands are Radiohead, The Beatles, and Bob Dylan. Most of her "facts" state she likes to laugh. Hopefully Juan can get more info from her because right now she seems slightly bland.

AMY L: I really like her because she likes Modern Family and chips and guac. Not a fan of that top. I am a little indifferent. Is she a flamenco dancer? Those rosettes really compliment her shoulders? I don't know. But she is pretty. And she likes cruises. So. I like her. Strictly because she likes a lot of things I like... besides cats. I do not like cats.

ANDI: She is loyal, she loves her family, and she is feisty. Yeah she is feisty! The most outrageous things she's ever done is "getting a murderer convicted in eight minutes." Only a feisty attorney could get that done! Her big downfall is that she used to want kids in 5 years but now she doesn't know. I am pretty sure if you get with Juan Pablo you will need to be prepared for kids like yesterday.

ASHLEY: She seems very reasonable and very girly. And for that alone I think she will stay around for awhile. But I feel like she is a little too normal for Juan's crazy (crazy in a good way) family and will get the boot when it comes closer to it.

CASSANDRA: Traditional girl is what I get from her very short answers. Likes pizza and UNO. Likes to hold hands. That is about all I got. So... if she is as boring as her answers, I see her leaving without a rose in the first episode.

CHANTEL: I think this is the only black girl. For that alone I applaud her for making it through in a mostly single-race show. I don't mean that rudely at all, it means she stood out in her audition and she caught the producers eye. She must be a good one. She is also very tall, 5'10" which is bomb.

CHELSIE: This girl called JP "the sexiest bachelor" multiple times during the road to Juan Pablo. And for that alone I didn't think I would like her. But I changed my mind. I think she will make it far with her love for love and her love for J.K. Rowling. HP for life.

CHRISTINE: She admits openly she is clumsy. So I hope she entertains us all with some good falls before she gets the bye bye from JP, because ultimately, I think she will. Sorry girlfriend. However, I am a sunflower fan myself, so you get points there.

CHRISTY: She is a beauty. And I saw many tweets about people liking her because she had a simliar career - which secretly means they think she is a hottie. So I think she will be a fan fave for the looks. I mean, I saw her put a sequin cocktail in her bag so I like already. And she likes Adam Sandler.

CLARE: I don't like that she calls humble people "the nobodies of the world". Just because they are humble and don't gloat doesn't make them nobodies. She also seemed like a needy one in the season preview. She also says she isn't romantic which seems very odd for someone that wants to be on The Bachelor. But like I said, I saw her in the previews so he must like her for someth.

DANIELLE: Thirty minutes to get ready. Loves Christmas. Adventurous. Likes to be outdoors. She seems like any guys dream. Doesn't like sushi takes her down one mark to me. Although she seems wonderful I don't see JP keeping her for very long.

ELISE: "The children are our future." That should go over well with JP since he has a child and she seems to like them, especially since she is a 1st grade teacher. Now that is down right adorable. Service and family oriented. Seems like just the girl for Juany.

KAT: She reads Glamour. She loves Britney Spears. She is stunning. She backpacked through Australia. She seems like an exciting girl to me. Yet, I don't remember seeing much of her in the season preview which makes me think JP didn't find her too exciting. But I think he should keep her.

KELLY: A meat and potato girl. I already like her. But then instantly she loses points for saying it takes her an hour and a half to get ready for a night out. How? I will never understand that. I sort of feel like that translates to high maintenance and I don't think JP will like it either.

KYLIE: She is the woman that walks forward because he thinks she calls her name and he does not. Saw it in the preview. And that is all I need to know.

LACY: Let us call her one of the most successful women on Bachelor. She owns a nursing home! Say what!? This trumps the jumbotron operator for sure. I also love that she is a Halloween and Christmas girl. I do not love that she doesn't have a favorite sports team... pick a side!

LAUREN H: She seems like the average over-achieving woman. She admits that she overcommits and she can be too open with her feelings. I would say I can relate, and I think most women can, right? She is a mineral coordinator. What does that even mean?

LAUREN S: All around she seems very chill. I also love that she admits to farting in front of her class in 4th grade and blaming it on another kid. That is def something I wouldn't share with the world. Please keep her Juan. She seems like a kick in the pants.

LUCY: I just don't like her. Is that bad? I don't have much good to say about her. I am pretty sure she was the beezy in the season preview that yelled "Am I talking too loud?" in a girls face. With that being said, I think she fools JP and makes it to the top 6. Dun, dun, dun... will she be the Michelle Money of this season? I hope so. And if she is... then maybe I will learn to love her like I did Michelle.

MAGGIE: I believe this is the first time airplane flyer. She was cute. Wears big earrings. But I love her southern charm. She seems like that southern girl everyone loves. Maybe another Emily-type on our hands? Love her already. She will make it to the top 4 at least.

NIKKI: I admire her for calling her favorite type of dancing "drunk dancing." Very honest. She also seems funny - when asked her favorite type of flower she said "roses?"- hint hint Juany boy.

RENEE: Hates when a date talks over her, texts during a date, and doesn't introduce her. Loves when they hold her hand and open her door. Seems like we have the same pre-reqs in a guy. But she seems sort of boring. Maybe thats because she gives short answers in her Q&A - hopefully the show gives me more info. Either that or she won't even appear and be booted quickly.

SHARLEEN: A Canadian opera singer. Sweeeeeeeet. The wildcard in the deck. Not your normal Bachelorette. She will bring some excitement to the show! And she admires her mom most, which I like because I admire my mother. I think she will make it to the top 10.

VALERIE: Seems average. Dictionary to the desert island. She cooks for men to impress them. Personal trainer. Country music girl. She doesn't stand out to me. And I don't see her going past the first round. But I have been wrong before. Maybe she will surprise me.

VICTORIA: I like her because of her movie selections. Star Wars and Mean Girls? Staples I tell you. I do not like that independence is her greatest accomplishment and that she loves to be mysterious. It seems like she was pulling answers out of the air.

So there you have it. My very brief and superficial analysis of each woman. You can take what I say, or you can leave it. And of course, feel free to give me your two cents on which woman will walk away with the rose and an incredibly huge Neil Lane engagement ring. Which ones are your favorites? Who do you think will make a fool of themselves at the first cocktail party? Who are you rooting for? Hope to see your tweets and cheers tonight and your post event blog post next week!

Photos & Bios: Courtesy of ABC