Fashion Fits Everyone || Volume 1
Body image and beauty have been on my mind a lot lately. After four years competing in pageants, a year or so in blogging, and a million girl's nights... how could those things not cross my mind? I'm a normal girl with normal girl insecurities. Am I fat? Are these clothes too tight? Can everyone see this acne that looks like a mountain? Is my hair long enough? Do my finger nails look weird? Are my pores too big? Do I have on too much makeup? The list of questions goes on and on and on. And maybe you haven't asked yourself any of those, but maybe you have. Or maybe your questions are a little different. No matter what the angle, it is our nature, as women, to compare ourselves to other women.
I always try to show confidence. In my walk, in my speech, in my fashion, in everything. But underneath it all. I am so self-conscious it is ridiculous. I'm not telling you this to make me you feel bad or to fish for a compliment. But confidence is a process... and it is a process that I am just barely coming to terms with. It has taken me a lot of time to push back those ugly comments from boys and girls that I grew up with about my weight, about my style, about my personality. There will always be critics. But before the critics come those who love and support you. And that is where my confidence stems from.
About a month into marriage, Adam and I were getting ready to go out on a group date. I got dressed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change. I changed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change, again. And this went on three or four times until I eventually broke down. I sat down on the ground in front of the mirror and put my head on the ground. I started crying and saying I looked awful. This was the first Adam had seen me acting like this. I am sure he was wondering “what the heck is going on”? But he was wonderful. He sat down next to me, made me look up at him, and said, "Deidre, you are beautiful. And if going out with these people makes you feel like this... then we shouldn't go out with them." He was right. So I put on the very first outfit one more time. Touched up my mascara. And we left. And I felt confident and I felt beautiful. Not because of my clothing. But because Adam supported me.
This has always been a struggle for me. I am a comparer. I always compare how I look against other women. Which is ridiculous. Because my body type is not the average woman body type. My body is the average tall girl body type. I am 5'9". I am a size 10. I have a normal shape. Hips and all. But I have skinny legs. And no tone in my arms. So how do I dress? First of all. I don't try to pretend I can wear a certain size. Who cares if I buy a large rather than a small? No one knows about that but me. Second. I wear things that make me feel confident. If I put on a shirt that feels a little snug or I look in the mirror and think... eh? I change. No point in going out feeling self-conscious all day. Some clothing have their off days. No harm in that. Third. I always wear straight leg pants to show my little legs, I never tuck in things unless I am wearing something high waist-ed, and I always wear something with sleeves to hide my lack of tone. You learn your best and worst features, and you learn to dress for comfort and confidence.
There is nothing little about me. I will never be a size zero. And I haven't been 5'4" since I was in 6th grade. So why do I compare myself to those women? Because I am ridiculous. But in all my days comparing, reading fashion blogs, and looking through magazines I have also gained confidence. The one thing I have come to realize is that fashion fits everyone. I love looking flipping through photos of celebrities, girls I know, and girls I just admire and seeing that they are confident. The girls that are small, the girls that are average, and the girls that are larger... You don't have to be a certain size to rock the latest style. I admire all the different shapes, sizes, and so on of these women. And their examples of style have taught me something - that as long as I am confident with my body, fashion fits ME! That is the beauty of fashion. It is there for everyone. Want to wear a pair of leather pants? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt around town? Do it. Want to try out the latest pattern? Do it. Want to wear you comfy sweater from 6 years ago? Do it. Fashion is for you and for me and for EVERYONE.
About a month into marriage, Adam and I were getting ready to go out on a group date. I got dressed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change. I changed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change, again. And this went on three or four times until I eventually broke down. I sat down on the ground in front of the mirror and put my head on the ground. I started crying and saying I looked awful. This was the first Adam had seen me acting like this. I am sure he was wondering “what the heck is going on”? But he was wonderful. He sat down next to me, made me look up at him, and said, "Deidre, you are beautiful. And if going out with these people makes you feel like this... then we shouldn't go out with them." He was right. So I put on the very first outfit one more time. Touched up my mascara. And we left. And I felt confident and I felt beautiful. Not because of my clothing. But because Adam supported me.
This has always been a struggle for me. I am a comparer. I always compare how I look against other women. Which is ridiculous. Because my body type is not the average woman body type. My body is the average tall girl body type. I am 5'9". I am a size 10. I have a normal shape. Hips and all. But I have skinny legs. And no tone in my arms. So how do I dress? First of all. I don't try to pretend I can wear a certain size. Who cares if I buy a large rather than a small? No one knows about that but me. Second. I wear things that make me feel confident. If I put on a shirt that feels a little snug or I look in the mirror and think... eh? I change. No point in going out feeling self-conscious all day. Some clothing have their off days. No harm in that. Third. I always wear straight leg pants to show my little legs, I never tuck in things unless I am wearing something high waist-ed, and I always wear something with sleeves to hide my lack of tone. You learn your best and worst features, and you learn to dress for comfort and confidence.
There is nothing little about me. I will never be a size zero. And I haven't been 5'4" since I was in 6th grade. So why do I compare myself to those women? Because I am ridiculous. But in all my days comparing, reading fashion blogs, and looking through magazines I have also gained confidence. The one thing I have come to realize is that fashion fits everyone. I love looking flipping through photos of celebrities, girls I know, and girls I just admire and seeing that they are confident. The girls that are small, the girls that are average, and the girls that are larger... You don't have to be a certain size to rock the latest style. I admire all the different shapes, sizes, and so on of these women. And their examples of style have taught me something - that as long as I am confident with my body, fashion fits ME! That is the beauty of fashion. It is there for everyone. Want to wear a pair of leather pants? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt around town? Do it. Want to try out the latest pattern? Do it. Want to wear you comfy sweater from 6 years ago? Do it. Fashion is for you and for me and for EVERYONE.
With that being said. I have finally come to terms with things. I am beautiful. I am unique. And I am stylish. And I am confident with who I am. I don't need to compare myself to anyone else. Because I am me. A one of a kind woman, and for that, I am grateful.