Dear Pumpkin,

Glad that carving you has become a crazy Halloween tradition. The first person that thought to carve a scary face into a pumpkin to keep the vampires and ghosts away was brilliant. That is why jack-o-lanterns were created, right? I always make sure I carve a really scary face in my pumpkin. That way I don't have to worry about any robbers, zombies, vampires, felons, dinosaurs or bad men trying to break into my house. The second they see my pumpkin they run.

Love,

Deidre